Any kind of amusing * nix one-liners?

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I saw a tee analysis 'anything you claim obtains piped to/ dev/null', not unbelievably amusing yet enjoyable at the very least.

Does any person else have any kind of excellent one-liner * nix jokes?

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2019-05-07 01:21:57
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Answers: 30

The Sad Story

[[email protected] root]# gcc homework.c -o homework.c
[[email protected] root]#
[[email protected] root]# ls
homework.c
[[email protected] root]# 

The Contradiction

much less > extra

The name originated from the joke of doing "in reverse extra." To aid bear in mind the distinction in between much less and also extra, an usual joke is to claim, "much less > extra," indicating that much less has better capability than extra. - from wikipedia

0
2019-05-19 16:04:19
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OK, this is disloyalty, yet still a great deal of enjoyable!

Experiment with the command line variation of xkcd webcomic:
http://uni.xkcd.com/

Go in advance, key in your commands!

Below is what you you can anticipate:

0
2019-05-17 20:11:58
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hm, possibly this set:

In a globe without wall surfaces or fencings that requires windows or gateways.

I recognize it is unsatisfactory yet real also:)

0
2019-05-17 03:36:17
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[origin @satish: ~/ Desktop ] $ whatis linux

linux : absolutely nothing ideal.

0
2019-05-17 01:42:21
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My faves:

UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to 
understand the simplicity.
    Dennis Ritchie

And:

One of my most productive days was throwing away 1000 lines of code.
    Ken Thomson
0
2019-05-17 01:41:42
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Not details to *nix yet pertaining to programmers:

Code resembles fart, you sustain just your own.

0
2019-05-17 01:11:31
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[email protected]:~> touch /this
touch: cannot touch "/this": Permission denied
0
2019-05-12 06:21:26
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[email protected]:~$ whatis linux
0
2019-05-12 05:10:17
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when mounted:

fortune

0
2019-05-12 04:30:59
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UNIX was not made to stop you from doing foolish points, since that would certainly additionally stop you from doing brilliant points.

-- Doug Gwyn

0
2019-05-10 15:11:06
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FreeBSD make:

$ make love
Not war.
$

or bsdmake on OS X:

$ make love
make: don't know how to make love. Stop
$
0
2019-05-08 23:17:28
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I read your mail.

0
2019-05-08 23:15:26
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You do not exist. Vanish.

Message from numerous programs when they attempt to seek out your customer details by customer ID which falls short.

Factors that can take place:

  • /etc/passwd is corrupt
  • the customer obtained removed in between the program obtaining its doomed ID and also trying the lookup
  • numerous quirkiness entailing the
0
2019-05-08 23:14:49
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Found in very early Unix resources:

/*
 * You are not expected to understand this.
 */
if(rp->p_flag & SSWAP) {
    rp->p_flag =& ~SSWAP;
    aretu(u.u_ssav);
}

(Lightly modified.)

0
2019-05-08 23:13:56
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Those that do not recognize UNIX are condemned to change it, inadequately.

-- Henry Spencer

0
2019-05-08 23:09:15
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From http://q4td.blogspot.com/

" Unix never ever claims 'please'"
-- Rob Pike

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2019-05-08 23:08:09
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These are all extracted from here. A great deal of these do not appear to work with more recent coverings, yet they're still feasible to poke fun at.

 % make fire
 Make: Don't know how to make fire. Stop. 

 % why not?
 No match. 

 % gotta light?
 No match. 

 % !1984
 1984: Event not found. # (on some systems) 

 % How's my lovemaking?
 Unmatched '. 

 % "How would you rate Bush's incompetence? 
 Unmatched ". 

 % [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
 Missing ]. 

 % [Where is my brain?
 Missing ]. 

 % ^How did the sex change^ operation go? 
 Modifier failed. 

 % If I had a ( for every $ Congress spent, what would I have? 
 Too many ('s. 

 % man: why did you get a divorce?
 man:: Too many arguments. 

 % %blow
 %blow: No such job. 

 % \(-
 (-: Command not found. 

 % sh
 $ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense 
 no sense in pretending!
 $ mkdir matter; cat >matter
 matter: cannot create 

 % cd /tmp
 % touch this; chmod 000 this
 % ln -s /usr/bin/touch U
 % U this
 U: cannot touch this: no write permission 

 % rm meese-ethics
 rm: meese-ethics nonexistent 

 % ar m God
 ar: God does not exist 

 % make love
 Make: Don't know how to make love. Stop. 

 Supposedly on older Sun's make will also tell you

 Make: Don't know how to make love. How about war instead?

 % sleep with me
 bad character 

 % ^What is saccharine?
 Bad substitute. 

 % drink yellow_pages
 yellow_pages: Is a directory 

 %touch me
 %chmod 000 me
 %touch me
 touch: cannot touch me: permission denied 

 % ar x "my love life"
 ar: my love life does not exist 

 % ar x "matey, the treasure"
 ar: matey, the treasure does not exist 

 % talk [email protected]
 talk: Kremlin: Can't figure out network address. 

 % talk Comrade Khruchev
 [Your party is not logged on] 
0
2019-05-08 22:57:37
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An extra typical variation of the unclean joke echox uploaded :

TOUCH GREP UNZIP MOUNT FSCK FSCK FSCK UMOUNT

0
2019-05-08 22:56:40
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I really did not see this for some time currently :

Unix is hot : that | grep - i blonde | day ; cd ~ ; unzip ; touch ; strip ; finger ; place ; wheeze ; of course ; uptime ; umount ; rest

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2019-05-08 22:41:14
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Unix is customer - pleasant. It's simply fussy concerning that its close friends are.

(I do not recognize the beginning. There are numerous alternative solutions drifting about. T-shirt (first google hit)

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2019-05-08 22:39:03
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Sex Drugs and UNIX (Usenix '83)

From the cover of guide 'A quarter Century of Unix' by Peter H. Salus

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2019-05-08 22:17:33
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From Linus Torvalds : "Software resembles sex : it's far better when it's free".

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2019-05-08 22:08:06
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Seen on a t - t shirt a while back :

rm -rf /bin/laden
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2019-05-08 21:56:10
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Here are a number of T - t shirt mottos :

There is no area like ~

My favored :
Thou shalt not eliminate - 9

0
2019-05-08 21:30:28
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There are 2 significant items of Berkeley, CA - - LSD and also UNIX. We do not think this to be purely by coincidence.

-- Jeremy S. Anderson

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2019-05-08 21:27:40
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  • I mount my soul at /dev/null - a coworker

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2019-05-08 21:07:15
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Here's a nickel, child. Obtain a far better computer system.

That line, from an old Dilbert anime, is currently famous enough that you do not also require the remainder of the anime any longer.

Below it is anyhow :

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2019-05-08 12:47:27
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If you have any kind of problem appearing supercilious, locate a UNIX customer to show you just how it's done.

-- Scott Adams, Dilbert Cartoonist

0
2019-05-08 06:40:23
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Microsoft is not the solution. Microsoft is the inquiry. NO (or Linux) is the solution.

  • extracted from here

    $ man female
    No guidebook access for female

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2019-05-08 05:23:38
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